The Open Source of Hovering Ideas

I Remember

His face, i remembered.
Gaunt, paler by the day.
my face, he doesn’t see.
Where his vision fails,

He is teetering on the
jagged edge of death’s hole.
Yet he is smiling with
the warmth of a newborn baby.

Does he feel alone, fearful
in death’s cold cradle?
Or does he see the end
as an end to his suffering?

my pain is that
i’d given him pain.
The emotional fortress’s defenses
shatter momentarily, but never enough
to let others in.

As Death gave him one last call,
i pulled up the white sheets,
half thankful that
now, i’m allowed to cry.


This Poetry is a part of Thursday Poets’ Rally Week 46 by Jingle


45 responses

  1. had so good an impact!loved it
    <a href=""<Alcina:Teaser!?

    October 14, 2011 at 18:17

    • sorry for the broken tag

      October 14, 2011 at 18:18

      • Never mind ..
        I still able to visit your Blog .. I saw it .. and loved it !!

        October 15, 2011 at 23:28

  2. Well expressed feelings. Touches a chord.

    October 12, 2011 at 17:03

  3. the last look, the last moment with someone special…it fades, a bit, a tiny bit, but still is there with power

    October 9, 2011 at 06:24

    • Thanks for your Kind Words with some tints of criticism which I appreciate !!

      October 10, 2011 at 17:57

  4. Beautifully written

    October 7, 2011 at 14:02

  5. Wow that is very painful and powerful, I felt that way with my grandmother’s passing.

    October 6, 2011 at 05:21

  6. raw and emotional – powerful piece

    October 4, 2011 at 06:27

    • Ohh !! Thanks for the compliment !!

      October 5, 2011 at 19:49

  7. TC

    This is some powerful poetry. Very haunting and sad. the line ”now I’m allowed to cry” shook me in particular.

    June 24, 2011 at 02:54

  8. I, too, lived this. My mother relived her life for the last week of life. She was in and out of consciousness.
    I felt so honored to be a part of her leaving. And yet, I caused her pain, too. You have struck a mighty cord with your words.

    June 22, 2011 at 07:00

  9. Pain!

    June 21, 2011 at 10:56

  10. emotions expressed so well. remarkable poem 🙂

    June 18, 2011 at 20:17

  11. heartfelt ashish.. here is my cute tune on nature

    Someone is Special

    June 18, 2011 at 19:39

  12. Heartfelt and so tender… Makes me wanna cry ;((

    June 18, 2011 at 17:09

  13. shoelessboywonder

    Interesting, like the background and feel of the blog. Though the darkness is a friend of mine, I dont fear death, nor look at it as a place of peace. I see it as the end, no more no less. Over all the theme of your poetry this week is something I can relate to from the other side, having had my heart broken, just never broken at heart. Your work stayed strong throughout the piece without a weak phrase good job. I look forward to your future posts.

    no feeling is without cause,


    June 18, 2011 at 07:30

    • Thank you so much for your great words on my work !!

      June 18, 2011 at 09:11

  14. ZQ

    This reminds me of an intersting Poem By E.A. Poe
    From childhood’s hour I have not been
    As others were — I have not seen
    As others saw — I could not bring
    My passions from a common spring —
    From the same source I have not taken
    My sorrow — I could not awaken
    My heart to joy at the same tone —
    And all I lov’d — I lov’d alone –
    “Alone” by Edgar Allan Poe

    June 18, 2011 at 03:39

    • Read some of them .. they are even very great !!

      June 18, 2011 at 09:12

  15. Awesome imagery. I love this line: i pulled up the white sheets, / half thankful that / now, i’m allowed to cry.

    June 18, 2011 at 01:30

  16. wow..
    wonderful read…

    June 17, 2011 at 13:07

  17. Nice one!

    June 17, 2011 at 09:48

  18. thoughtsnotlost

    Emotional read, well done!

    June 17, 2011 at 03:22

  19. So well written. A lot of us have death in our poetry these days.

    June 17, 2011 at 01:51

  20. OMG!!!! :O

    June 16, 2011 at 21:01

  21. Virtual Sinner

    Excellent expression of a difficult moment.

    June 16, 2011 at 20:23

  22. poetryuntold

    I like your blog overall. Its full of energy and enthusiasm. Keep rocking!

    June 16, 2011 at 09:07

    • Thanks for stopping by and appreciating my Blog !! 🙂

      June 16, 2011 at 18:18

  23. What an honest, heartfelt write. I think more than one has been there. You captured the moment skillfully. Excelllent work.

    June 16, 2011 at 08:59

  24. very cool.

    June 16, 2011 at 05:46

  25. at times stark yet filled with tenderness. wow.

    June 16, 2011 at 02:10

  26. Ina

    Such a sad farewell, such regret…
    It was like this how I felt when I watched my mother die, this reminds me.
    Very well written.

    June 16, 2011 at 01:43

    • Too sad .. it even reminds me some of my pasts as well !!

      June 16, 2011 at 01:58

  27. So sad.
    Not all of us find it easy to express our thoughts & feelings. You did a nice job with this one.
    Very powerful ending.

    Thank you for sharing.

    June 15, 2011 at 18:48

  28. This is so sad and there is so much depth to it

    June 15, 2011 at 14:48

  29. Sounded really painful! Sometimes, expressing our true emotions becomes a real challenge! And the tipping point gets real craggy..

    I think you have done a great job of portraying this feeling here, Ashish… Bravo!

    June 14, 2011 at 12:20

  30. allowed to cry,
    your words send me fly…

    awesome piece, thanks for sharing.

    June 14, 2011 at 01:16

  31. Powerful poem!

    June 14, 2011 at 00:39

  32. Aw, man. That is so familiar and real to me. I won’t say any more here, but I lived this. Excellent expression of it. Great write!

    June 13, 2011 at 20:28

    • Thanks for your appreciation mate .. 😉

      June 14, 2011 at 08:23

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