The Open Source of Hovering Ideas

Posts tagged “grief

The Loser (Day 9 of Truth)


30 Days of Truth

*****************************************************************************************

This day post is now making me emotional, as the topic for this day really means me a lot. It’s kinda just … What can I say? .. I am speechless. But still I’ve to move on and complete this day, like those 8 days.

Anyways, there are some individuals who really are very important even than your own personal life. You’ve wished something, they’ve fulfilled all of them. You’ve demanded for some space and privacy, they’ve provided. Even you’ve ask for some help and support, they were there for you. These are none other than your beloved parents, who really care about you no matter what you are. These are those real people in your life, who have been your true idols and inspirations for a very big time and even forever. As a matter of fact, it is their dedication and motivation that really made what you right now. If you honestly respect them a lot, then undoubtedly, these are the ones whom you never let them go.

But Life has its own rules and conditions. Somebody has to go and somebody has to lose. It’s the undeniable and unfortunate truth. This is where the tables turned. You can’t believe what just happened wrong, as everything seemed so far so good. Even I still feel bad, in case I remember that moment for a while. Despite of all my fortunes and triumphs, I lost those beloved ones at the uncertain and underdeveloped teenage life. I felt something miserable, something pathetic as if the God was against me. Many random voices in my head kept asking me a lot of questions, which are yet to be answered. That’s my grief. Nothing to say more!

It’s really been a long time since that demise. Few true closed people of mine understood me a lot and I’m happy with them. However, there are plenty of douchebags I’ve encountered, who percept that with this I’m trying to get sympathy and attention. And seriously, I really don’t fuck about them, because these assholes really don’t know about me and my life, even after stalking and spying me possibly they could. Anyways, it’s their own lame and filthy perception. And even, I don’t want to be some moral police to tell them everything again and again.

Moreover, I’ve some other plans and milestones to achieve. Life and people (including those jerks) had really teach me a lot, and still I have a long way to go. Being optimist, I would say those missed ones still somewhere in me. I could feel them whenever I want. Maybe I’ve become somewhat like them.

*****************************************************************************************

30 Days of Truth

The above Post was for accomplishing Creative Challenge called 30 Days of Truth, given by Kellie Elmore. It is a unique exercise in self exploration and learning to be honest with yourself…


Never Leave Your Passion Alone in Darkness (Day 6 of Truth)



The following Post is for accomplishing Creative Challenge called 30 Days of Truth, given by Kellie Elmore. It is a unique exercise in self exploration and learning to be honest with yourself… and that ultimately leads to happiness.

30 Days of Truth

*****************************************************************************************

When a very bit of small Hobby you are fond of, which you would definitely like to do most of time whenever you get some time. Exploring your vivid imaginations. It eventually becomes your Passion which you always would do and never like to leave. But unfortunately, being busy and indulging in other important tasks modern life, You can’t give enough time for your Passion and therefore, you lose it somewhere.

Same happened with me. Like I’ve said, I was much passionate towards Arts during my childhood days, doesn’t means that I’m not so right now .. I’m still so but not that much. I was totally inspired with many forms of Artworks which usually our Art Teacher used to give us Bi-weekly. Some used to do it like a Burden as if they are being forced to complete it. Whereas for me, It was yet another Mystery to be solved, yet another Mountain to be climbed,  yet another World to be explored and eventually yet  another Goal to be achieved. Keep that attitude, I didn’t feel that I was doing just to complete my Homework ASAP, Impressing my Art Teacher and getting Good Grades in Drawing. It was becoming a Fun to be enjoyed. That particular subject was becoming a Hobby.

And this is how, I just getting more and more into Drawing. It’s not that I used to focus only in that, I was even good in other subjects as well. Among the Toppers you could say. 😛 Still, I’ve made a BALANCE between Drawing and other Academic Subjects those days. I used to refer TV Art shows Like – Art Attack and M.A.D.for getting more knowledge on other forms of Art. I’ve participated in many Inter-School Competitions, in some of them I’ve won as well. Not just my family and friends, My School Teachers used to appreciate and encouraged me all for that. Among them, My Mom was the one who Encouraged me a lot sparing some of my Bad Habits and Naughtiness. I was so much addicted with it that I even used to draw my Sister’s Drawing Homework a lot. Whether it was any Art or any Book Diagram,I used to do it quietly and in return, she didn’t tells Dad how much I played Video Games or Cricket with friends today. 😛 Though I was not that much pioneered in Arts, but ya I was learning faster and getting more better. 😉

With such improvements and achievements in my Drawing, I’ve realized afterwards, that this Hobby is now growing up into a Passion. I was even day-dreaming that I could do it like a professional Artist. But like I’ve said as soon as you Grow-up, your priorities change. Same happened with me which I still regret. Well after clearing my Metric (10th Std. Board) Exams, I’ve was more passionate towards Science Field especially in Computer Science. Being A Science Non-Medical Student, I devoted my most time into Learning Theoretical and Practical Concepts, Understanding Languages and even after Studying Harder n’ Harder for my Engineering Entrance Exams (IIT-JEE, AIEEE and DCE-CEE). As I was indulging myself more into Academics, My Career Priority of being an Engineer lied above of Being an Artist. With this, I’ve lost all my Excellent Skills in Arts as I hardly practiced for it. It seemed as if the Soul and Passion for becoming an Artist died those days.

Yet another Grief that I’m sharing. Not a Big One, but still painful.But Looking some of my Batch-mates and some Seniors of my College, who are seriously DAMN inspiring and totally Pioneered in Arts. Looking them and then looking me, I’ve learned a Lesson that Neither Leave Your Passion Alone Nor Let it Die inside You, cause in the end It hurts so Bad.

So learning through all these experiences, I’ve started bringing up my Talent back again. Again Leaning , Exploring, and Practicing. I’ve participated and also won in many Art Competitions organised in our and others College Fests. I usually make Drawings with Chalk in our Classroom Board, whenever there’s some Free Period. Plus, I’ve started making some Sketching in my College Notes during Boring Lectures as well. 😛 Moreover, I am also in College Fine Arts Team, who make Banners and Posters for our College Fests. Many of the Artworks that I’ve published so far here in my Blog, they all have been made during my recent College Days.

Well, It was my unfortunate that I left my Talent for a while and paid it costly. But no regrets now at all. I can’t change my Past, but could endure my Present and Future. Still I’m passionate of Art and even placed it in my Career Priority List. I’ve started making a Balance between my college Studies and my Passions. Though I’m lost all my Ole School Drawing Skills, Still I’m learning and exploring more into it as sometimes it feels so Good to learn and grow up like a Kid again. 8)

*****************************************************************************************

30 Days of Truth

The above Post was for accomplishing Creative Challenge called 30 Days of Truth, given by Kellie Elmore. It is a unique exercise in self exploration and learning to be honest with yourself…


Always (Day 10 of Haiku)


********************************************************************************************************

Never Cry alone,
Share your Griefs with me, as I’m
Always there for you.

Always There for You

Always There for You

********************************************************************************************************

This Haiku Post is a part of “ The Haiku Challenge “A 28 day Haiku Writing Competition,
organized by ‘Someone Is Special’.


.. Depths Of My Heart ..


 

Depths Of My Heart

 

The Depths of My Heart
Holding immense of varying emotions
Running inside through these veins
Causing Terrible IMPACT all over
Controlling over my Li’l Brain.
Sometimes very happy,
Sometimes that much sad
While, Sometimes in love,
Sometimes in agony,
And even sometimes very mad. 😛
Thoughts revolving around
Hovering all the time.
Even inspiring me so much from anybody
And making to try to be like them for a while.

 

The Depths of My Heart
Makes me just like a Soldier
Who Plays with Death
Standing One Step Closer
Getting bruises and scars all around
Still Unstoppable to take a Break
Seeking for peace
And Fighting for Independence
Even putting his life in Stake
He hates Tyranny and Slavery
And Gives a F*ck to Terrorism
Only thing he believes in
Blood and Sweat form Patriotism
Everybody wanna be like him
Wanna be like that BRAVE
Would get ready for a Sacrifice
And die happily in The Holy Grave

 

The Depths of My Heart
Makes me just Like a Man
To hold himself with a Belief
Conquering all the damn strength
To move out from his own GRIEF
Having a Duel with The Mighty Satan
Like a Big “DABANGG” (Fearless Guy) 8) 😉
Without having any Fear
And even, without having any doubt
N’ putting his all power
To whip all those DAMN threats
That tried to take him out.

 

The Depths of My Heart
Makes me just Like a Friend
Who never forgets you till the End
And, he’s the one who never pretends.
Sharing his thoughts with you
Giving you happiness in every Moment
To maintain his Friendship
at every sort of aspect
Even would do anything for his friend
with Hustle Loyalty n’ Respect 😉

 

And, Finally
The Depths of My Heart
Now, makes me just Like a Lover
Whose LOVE just grown in Rain
Like a Blooming Flower
Getting fascinated to somebody
Ain’t any sort of Lust? 😛
Looking to that beautiful
Ohh Baby !! It makes him to Blush
Thinking about her anywhere
Many Shitty things in his head get flush
And It seems like, He’s like Y’all
Who finally had a sweet CRUSH.

 

These are certain thoughts
That usually lies in my Yard
And I am still embracing the FACT
I won’t break, cut n’ torn them apart
Whatever they might be
Even else if it sometimes
Makes me Feel bit Retard 😛
Coz’ these things would and forever
Inside The Depths of My Heart. 😉

 

All the Thoughts of Mine would be lying inside The Depths of My Heart

**************************************************************************************************
Selected for :- Thursdays Poet Rally Week 34 By Jingle

Thanks Jingle for giving me “Perfect Poet Award for Thursdays Poet Rally Week 34”

Moreover, I would like to nominate Dr. Madan Goyal for Week 35

**************************************************************************************************


… GRIEF …


Yo!! Every day and night
I always keep on Dreaming,
Just to hide the damn fact
Which I don’t want to believe in,
I can’t take this anymore
Coz’ those tears are still bleeding,
Since those days won’t be cumin’ back
So It’s Damn f*cking useless for a pleading.

Since I m not a Waving flag
I m not that damn stronger,
Getting tamed by almost everybody
Can’t take it anymore so longer,
So, I Need a break from such Hell sh*ts
As such things won’t get over,
And finding an another place like Heaven
Coz’ it’s the only damn place to Hover.

Those nice days reminds me so much,
Which even comes in your life very hardly,
But soon, The Tables turned out-of-nowhere
Where I’ve lost somebody very badly,
Now It’s late to have remorse & regrets
Coz’ the time has already gone out for a guilty,
Still on a trail to find them out
So much Truly, Madly and Deeply.

So while walking though those sufferings
Still hanging on with a self belief,
That all those Dreams gonna be true someday
Surely get back those senses of relief,
But Damn It !! This won’t hide the f*cking reality
and There’s no way I won’t deceive
Coz’ I’ve lost my dear loved ones in the middle,
and That’s THE BIGGEST GRIEF that I’ve ever received !!

Still having a Dream every time I wake
Though the clock yelling me out that ‘It’s too much late’
Battling from those Nightmares, My life is now in stake
Just making some new roads of my very dear Fate !!

Though these Roads are very tough to move on
Even its surface are very hard,
But there is no way I m gonna give up like a Moron
Not anymore in my own Yard.
Those my loved might have gone to infinite
Dunno how much they are far apart
But still there’s a place for them
& forever they reside in his HOLY HEART !!

The GRIEF Still and Forever Resides Inside The Depths of my HEART

The GRIEF Still and Forever Resides Inside The Depths of my HEART