The Open Source of Hovering Ideas

Posts tagged “Humor

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The Metalhead Switch


Metalhead Pose

Metalhead Pose


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Being Genius


From Incidental Comics by Grant Snider.


The ‘B-ves’ of My Life (Day 8 Of Truth)



The following Post is for accomplishing Creative Challenge called 30 Days of Truth, given by Kellie Elmore. It is a unique exercise in self exploration and learning to be honest with yourself… and that ultimately leads to happiness.

30 Days of Truth

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In the World of Ying-Yang, if you have some odds in favor then definitely there would be some odds against you as well. Taking an example of Blood Groups, an A never matches with a B. And there’s the same kind of situation with my Life as well. Myself (A) never, ever gonna deal with them (B’s). Since my Blood Group is ‘A positive’ (A+ve), so I call them ‘B negatives’ (B-ve).

Totally Opposite!! 😛

Confused? I think you would be. But the following types of people with whom I’ve met so far, have made my Life annoying and miserable enough to categorize them like this.

1. BULLIES with Power

That’s an obvious nightmare for the Good Boys when they have to encounter these Chauvinist Bad Boys, mostly in School days. My Childhood was Simple, Peaceful, Study-Focused and away from Fist Fights. It’s a good thing for your teachers and parents, but not for the Bullies. They just hate you for no reasons. I have been imitated by them a lot. Even sometimes I was humiliated as well in Class by them. It’s not so easy to fight back for your own dignity at that time. First of all, they all come together to tease you and so, you’re all alone. Secondly, they’ll take you down easily even if you try to fight back, as they are stronger than you. That’s why they are Bullies, obsessed with Power and Strength. And lastly, you always remember the morals that your teachers and parents taught. Nobody wants to get their hands dirty.

I’ve lost a lot of times. But when the threshold of tolerance and patience gets over the limit, I’ve settled the score in a duel, for which I regretted a lot afterward as I never wanted to be like them. But sometimes, you have to do for getting your respect back.

Anyways, now when I look them after 5-6 years, they don’t seem like what they used to appear when I was kid. Not Bullies anymore, but not even my Friends. 😛

However, Bullies keep changing, but they will always come in your Life. Some of my College Seniors are just like them. Sometimes, they just keep trying to tease me on my appearances. But I don’t mess with them as I’m now matured and experienced of tolerating this thing. This Seniority SHIT would even be present during my Job days as well.

2. BORES without Life

Some people really need to have a Life as they stalk on others’ Life for every GOD DAMN moment. It’s kinda trespassing someone’s privacy. The same things have been experienced by me. I’ve encountered a lot of people who either kept asking questions about me and my Life or started giving me useless suggestions as if they know me well. I’m not saying that, they don’t have right to advice me, but please stop giving useless advices when they even don’t know the circumstances of my situations. It’s intolerable and irritating.

However, I have few good friends to whom I’ve told almost about myself, my ambitions and even shared some of my grieves. But don’t and never discuss with many as people hardly understand you. They would get sympathize at that time, but in the end they all forget and treat you like normal. Even I don’t need any sympathy and publicity for myself. As I’d rather get treated equally than being hurt.

Plus, some people keep on criticizing me for being a Facebook alcoholic. They think I’m wasting my Time on there. But the fact they don’t know that though I’m kinda introvert in reality, but highly extrovert in Social Networking Sites. I mean, who doesn’t? People would like to get rid of their boring life and have fun in Facebook. Even I like to interact with my Net Friends and so, I have a Social Life.

But still these morons presume such shitty perceptions that used to piss me off. However, now I really don’t care as they keep boring me with those same ole responses.

3. BASTARDS with Ego

Now-a-days, everybody has its own Ego. And the moment gets when the Ego clashes out of nowhere. Personally, I can’t stand with such people who have a lot of ego and pride for their own so-called specialty. It’s good that they have such specialty in themselves, but that doesn’t means that they have right to flaunt everywhere especially to them who don’t have any. Still I bear their rants most of times. But when the breaking point of my patience and tolerance has reaches, I bashed in a battle for the sake of my dignity and respect.

They just tried to take me down, proving me wrong as well and therefore, proving that they are the best while I’m wrong. Bastards! 😛

4. BITCHES with Everything!

These days, people are so multi-tasking. Seriously man! I won’t be able to find out how they all do that. But since some of them get just because though comforts and being fortunate, I sometimes get jealous with them.

I’m a college guy and I’ve seen plenty of guys around me who are phenomenal apart from their academic scores. Obviously, they are exceptional and fortunate to get the success soon. It’s their headache to mingle with various tasks, which they do remarkably well.

Overall, I still respect these ‘Supernaturals’ as token of inspiration. But Honestly, I’m not like them. Since I’ve got a BIG competition in my college, I’ve been defeated a lot and I admit it though I gave my 100%. But my point of view would be considered as Lame Excuses as My people don’t understand me at all. They’ll still compare their (the multi-task performers’) triumphs with my failures and even expect me to like them. That really makes me SICK as in spite of getting some support and a little appreciation of my efforts, I get taunts of not being extra-ordinary.

I’m not like them and never want to be like them. If I’m trying to pretend to be like them, then I’ll definitely lose my own identity. Plus, the thing I believe, as someone told me once that “If you’re trying everything, then you would not be Master of Anything. But if you’re trying something, then you’re definitely the Master of that Thing.” I still makes me amazed why people do 10 things even if they know they hardly 1-2 would be useful in their future.  Most of my College Toppers and even some of my Tech-minded Seniors would still try to think for MBA. Even in the vast Technical Lines, people would mug 10-20 different topics like nuts. Maybe just to prove the world that they are super-intelligent and smart.

Actually, this is where our Education System lacks. We are taught 10-20 different topics and sometimes even useless subjects out of our interests. Plus, you get a crappy out of the format Question Papers in the Examinations, which would make you mad. Of course, the Engineering Life in College gonna SUCK !! Those Hard-ass Supernatural bitches would mug up and achieve higher grades in Examinations. And Dumb-asses like me, having interests on certain topics would be screwed and be ranted with humiliation for whole Life. And therefore with or without any intentions, they have made my Life miserable.

Sometimes I get so depressed from such dilemma for a long time. But still I wake up in the morning in an optimistic  hope that things would be change. But Changes never come on their own, they are being brought. If these B-ves of my Life quit annoying the A+ves like me, then we’ll definitely gonna have a better place to Live. Hopefully, that day comes sooner. 🙂

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30 Days of Truth

The above Post was for accomplishing Creative Challenge called 30 Days of Truth, given by Kellie Elmore. It is a unique exercise in self exploration and learning to be honest with yourself…


When a Graphic Designer helps for Good


I was just searching some inspiring tutorials related to Graphic Designing and Animation. But instead, I’ve got something really Funny (but very Imprising, Inferring and DAMN Creative) .

So this is how the Story goes and the SHIT happens !! 😛

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From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi,

I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.


This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.

Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

 I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

 It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

 I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

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From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.

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Phew, Glad That I’m not asking for any help from such Nasty Creative fellow 😛
But However, It inspired me to Crack Jokes on Pictures of many of my Dear Facebook Friends. 😛
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Originally Posted as Missing Missy at 27bslash6.com
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